Stuff We Can Make Up About Pink Floyd...

[moom]

Evening Standard.

Daily Standard, remember?

[azza200]

Nick Mason will be in a hill billy tribute act to The Who

[Bigmanpigman]

Nick Mason will be in a hill billy tribute act to The Who

And Roger Waters today announced at a press conference that he will be appearing in a new musical production about The Who. He will be taking the part of 'Happy Jack'. "It's a huge challenge" said Roger.

[azza200]

[moom]

Roger That is Waters' pseudonym in hotel registration books. He got it during a set-up for a gig when the band communicated through walkie talkies.

[Wolfpack]

During the sessions of the upcoming album 'The Endless River', Gilmour noticed a man with a toothbrush and a bag of candies in the studio.
And just when Gilmour wanted to call his "dogs of war" to "tear the inside out" of that man, he realized it was... Roger Waters?!?!?
While Gilmour was in f*cking tears, Waters attempted to play bass guitar with that toothbrush as a bow.
Gilmour cried: "Sorry Roger, but the mixing has already been done."
When asked what he thought of the album, Waters simply said: "sounds a bit old".
Waters briefly attended a poetry reading by Polly Samson that immediately followed the recording sessions;
however, he left early without saying goodbye.

It's a sad story...

[Hudini]

A leaked information from an insider attending 'The Endless River' recording sessions suggests that there were no leftover recordings from TDB sessions whatsoever to begin with. Gilmour deliberately published that information to trick people into thinking that the album will contain actual unreleased recordings of Rick Wright, while in fact Gilmour himself will be playing all the keyboards.

In the early 1980s, when Wright left the band to focus on on his career of a sailboat captain, Gilmour had to master the art of mimicking Wright's playing style because Roger Waters was too cheap to hire a professional keyboard player. During the TFC recording sessions, Gilmour reportedly stated: "I don't know what's all the fuss about Rick's style about: you just press as many keys as you possibly can at the same time as hard as you can and just sweep your hand across the board - that's all there is to it".

'The Endless River' is really going to be made up from all new material, which is however so substandard that Gilmour had to call it 20 year old leftovers for people to actually buy the record. The real reason behind the release is the fact that Gilmour is going broke from his many children's tuition fees and Polly's growing obsession with cameras and high heel shoes, and that an album with his own name on it wouldn't sell as well as an album by Pink Floyd.

While Roger Waters was never contacted about the recording of a new album, Nick Mason was brought in for a recording session which turned out a disaster since it became obvious that Mason forgot how to play the drums and kept mistaking the snare for steering wheel and the bass drum pedal for throttle. Gilmour then called Phil Collins instead, who happily agreed but turned out to be too good for people to believe that it was Nick Mason playing, so Collins had to re-record all of his parts blindfolded and with his hands and feet tied together, behind his back.

Gilmour briefly considered just releasing the songs from 'La Carrera Panamericana' soundtrack as a new album, but was forced to give up on that idea when his lawyers assured him that there might be more than three people besides Nick Mason who've seen the film all the way through and who would be able to recognize the songs.

More info soon.

[Vlad The Impaler]

Roger Waters never wrote a single song for the Floyd...it was all Syd with a little help from Gilmour. Syd only pretended to be crazy and "retired" cause the star life was a drag. Waters was allowed to take credit for those songs and it went to his head until he actually believed it was he and not Barrett would was the author. Yep...Dark Side, WYWH, Animals, the Wall...all of it....pure Syd.

[Wolfpack]

Come on, everyone knows that the only true genius behind Pink Floyd is Nick Mason.
Mason wrote and played everything. It's no coincidence that his name is on every Pink Floyd album!

[Annoying Twit]

Who would become the main lyric writer for PF was a much closer run thing than many people know. After 'Childhood's End' the rest of the band voted for Gilmour to write all the lyrics. But Roger Waters broke into Gilmour's flat and stole his rhyming dictionary. The rest is history.

The Endless River is actually being constructed from processed samples of Dave, Rick, and Nick urinating. The raw material was discovered to have been recorded after it was found that Nick Mason had accidentally left a portable recorder on top of the urinal.

It wasn't actually the case that Syd dropped in on WYWH recording sessions. It was actually Syd who had the studio booked for his own solo recordings, but a poorly trained studio employee accidentally directed PF to the wrong studio. Unfortunately, Syd's reputation as 'The Madcap' meant that nobody believed him when he tried to sort out the mess and get on with recording his own album.

Rick Wright never intended to miss any The Wall recording sessions. It was just unlucky that he happened to go on a short sailing holiday in the Bermuda Triangle, where he was teleported forward in time to 1989.

There aren't actually any snippets of speech on TDSotM. If you believe that you can hear them, you should see a psychiatrist ASAP.

If you play every single Pink Floyd album simultaneously, you'll hear a special message from God at 21min 27secs.

The inspiration for 'Fat Old Sun' came to Gilmour after he saw Waters bending over in the shower.

Simon Cowell is Roger Waters' secret love child. Roger has to pay Simon £5m a year for Simon to keep quiet about this.

A Momentary Lapse of Reason was only recorded because Nick Mason wanted to start his own Formula One team. But even the hundreds of millions that the album and tour generated weren't enough to cover the 'backhander' that Bernie Ecclestone was demanding.

'Oh by the way, which one's Pink?' is a PF in-joke referring to the 23rd of June, 1974, the day when they sat around all morning comparing their genitalia.

When Roger Waters quit PF, he believed that he had a signed undertaking that the other members would never use the name 'Pink Floyd' again. But on reading the fine print he found that it was actually an undertaking to never sell muffins using the 'Pink Floyd' name. This subterfuge actually backfired on Dave and Nick after Nick invented the cranberry and cinnamon muffin. This would have become the world's favourite flavour of muffin and made them billions if they'd been able to sell it.

Brian Eno was contracted to create the 'Windows 95' startup sound only after Roger's submission, him screaming 'Die Thatcher Die', was rejected by the Microsoft board in a close vote.

Having spent all his money on his first Hammond Organ, Rick Wright was unable to afford a Leslie rotating speaker. Fortunately he was able to improvise one from an old valve radio and a kebab maker. And the classic PF organ sound was born.

Clare Torry is in negotiations with the Rick Wright estate to licence 'The Great Gig in the Sky' for use in a Preparation H commercial. If it gets the green light, Clare's screams and moans will be lip synced by actors portraying haemorrhoid suffers sitting down.

[azza200]

Eastenders is going to have Pink Floyd themed episode so expect the usual dull acting with floyd lyrics thrown in and with mr screen hanging from the queen vic with lasers and lightshow going on in the underground section

[Wolfpack]

It wasn't actually the case that Syd dropped in on WYWH recording sessions. It was actually Syd who had the studio booked for his own solo recordings, but a poorly trained studio employee accidentally directed PF to the wrong studio. Unfortunately, Syd's reputation as 'The Madcap' meant that nobody believed him when he tried to sort out the mess and get on with recording his own album.

Rick Wright never intended to miss any The Wall recording sessions. It was just unlucky that he happened to go on a short sailing holiday in the Bermuda Triangle, where he was teleported forward in time to 1989.

There aren't actually any snippets of speech on TDSotM. If you believe that you can hear them, you should see a psychiatrist ASAP.

Some news:

Very soon, Pink Floyd will release lots of unreleased work onto an internet platform,
we will be able to download work like 'Lucy Leave', 'Seabirds', a planets version of 'Echoes',
and...
Oh, sorry, I can't stop laughing like a hysterically cynical Waters.

[azza200]

Nick Mason will be dropping some beats down for the new Snoop Dogg Lil Wayne single where Lil Wayne will be sampling Several Species into the new gangster rap track. Nick Mason will also be taking part in the dance in the video called the crusty pie wiggle

and Roger Waters will be out on tour with his chums Chas and Dave

[my breakfast.]

Nick Mason is a good drummer.

Roger Waters is a household name without ever benefiting form the actions of any member of the jewish community, and is therefore not a hypocritical sack of shit.

[Hudini]

Both Roger Waters and David Gilmour are household names due to their body of work outside Pink Floyd.