Made me chuckle

[Neil]

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I'd used for years without any trouble.
However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0
with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such
as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware
beta-program, Party Girl 2.1 that I tried had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely
for several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems
detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiancé 1.0
only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to because,
whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000.
Shortly after this upgrade however I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any
mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months
later when I had forgot about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail porn filters, and can, without
warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip! These latter products have no help files and I have to try and guess what the
problem is myself.

Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments
and also Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child
processes that also drains my resources. It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are
an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT program it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0
also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've attempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, a friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0
detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it tends to delete all my MS Money files before un-installing itself.

[Feeling Very Pink]

lmao!

[Keith Jordan]

I think that is really funny. If anybody is offended by it, PM me and I will delete it.

[Neil]

Oops - sorry I never thought whether it would affend anybody Yes please delete if it does..

[grateful pink]

It is not an offensive joke IMHO

[Spirit Catcher]

It is " Baptist Clean ".
Good one NNN.

I'm a good baptist and would know.
I speak only for myself .

[Pugs on the Wing]

See, the whole problem is you're running Windows! At the time I first learned Macintosh, I was running Totally Serious Boyfriend 1.0, (the first major upgrade from many extremely lame beta versions) which automatically upgraded itself to Husband 1.0 FLAWLESSLY! In that time I've gotten lots more Macs, and Husband 1.0 runs on *all of them*!

It's all in the OS. Macs are just more stable.

[flashback]

NotNowNeil,that post has to be up for classic post award if I(IMO) ever saw 1.

[Richter_M.]

Indeed. Keep posts like this one coming, NNNeil!

[Tommy]

i have never been so offended in my life :^o , actually that was hilarious

[Feeling Very Pink]

i have never been so offended in my life :^o , actually that was hilarious

You only said that so you could use the :^o emoticon.

[Tommy]

haha yea ive been waiting to use that one

[Pugs on the Wing]

Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child
processes that also drains my resources.

You mean you don't use the birth control filters and plug-ins? Most of them come as bonus apps along with your virus protection software.

[Spirit Catcher]

Two computer science students meet on campus one day. The first student calls out to the other, "Hey -- Nice bike! Where did you get it?"
"Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'You can have ANYTHING you want!'"

"Good choice," says the first, "Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."

[madcap69]